We'll See

Not that anyone cares, should care, but on this Veteran’s Day, I break my silence on this cluster(insert expletive of your choosing) of a presidential election.

A few months back, a long-time and respected friend mockingly announced to another lunch partner, “Stu is a Dem-o-crat.”

Well, a couple of things.  I have been, where possible, a registered independent, and have voted for Republican, Democratic, Independent, and even Libertarian candidates as I saw fit.  Good ideas have come from and/or been blocked by the left and the right.  So despite the intended insult, it is simply not so.

That said, I reject the statement as the insult that was intended.  The battlefields of this planet run deep and red with the blood of Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and the disinterested in politics.  Selfless and self-serving, righteous and amoral, lazy and industrious, courageous and cowardly politicians come from all sides of the political spectrum as well.  

So cast labels as you will, one man’s insult is another’s badge of honor.  Even if my friends intended slur was true, I would not take it as a slur.

“Pick a side!” one might say.  I have picked a side.  The side of demonstrable facts, of common decency as I see it, of the freedom of personal choice, of compassion, and most of all of the side of “I know that I don’t know every (insert expletive of your choice) thing”.

So, if you today are on the spectrum between smug and giddy to despondent and angry, keep in mind that ultimately we are all on the same side.  Keep in mind that “your side” doesn’t have all the (insert expletive of your choice) answers and doesn’t know every (insert expletive of your choice) thing.  If you ask me (and you didn't), maturity and common sense so require.

As the Zen Master said, “We’ll see.”

That's It.

One of the “benefits” of working on the fringe of the entertainment business, this is a collection of just a few of my meaningless celebrity sightings and encounters.  They are in no particular order of importance, because they are all unimportant.  And a Donald Trump story.

In the spring of 2015 Gary Busy was pacing around my gate at LAX, followed by a walrus looking dude whom I assumed was his security.  That’s it.

Around 1989 my wife, Susan, and I had backstage meet and greet passes at a Tom Jones concert.  The show was pretty good.  Backstage, we waited in line to get a photo with Tom Jones.  He shoved me gently, deliberately, and ceremoniously out of the way so that it would just be him and Susan in the picture.  That’s it.

In 1990, Susan and I and another couple were on a flight to south Florida, Lauderdale I think. Hanging out at our gate, I looked over and saw that then Tennessee Senator Al Gore was on our flight.  If memory serves, he had just dropped his presidential bid.  I went up and rapped with him for a minute, told him that I was a Tennessean and that when I was undergrad at MTSU the dorm I lived in for a year was named after his dad (also a US Senator of note).  He was polite enough.  That's it.

On a flight once from DC to Charlotte, the entire South Carolina congressional delegation got on our flight.  Not yet knowing I was sitting next to a congressman. when Strom Thurmond got on I said to my seatmate, that cat looks like Art Linkletter (who had probably been dead for sometime, who knows).  He had to tell me who it was Strom Thurmond. That's it.

I went to work at Universal Studios in 2003.  My first week there I was at some fancy restaurant around Universal City for dinner and George Wendt was sitting alone at the table next to my little dinner party.  Then he was joined by John Cleese.  I thought that was so cool.  That’s it.

I was so naïve when I worked at Universal.  Only there about a year, I was in two or three meetings where it was just me and five or six others, and Jeffery Katzenberg was in the meeting.  I really didn’t know who he was or that he was a big deal.  Maybe that's one reason I was only there about a year. That’s it.

One evening we had a picnic on the Universal lot on the front yard of the house that was depicted as where the Cleaver’s lived.  You know, Leave it to Beaver.  I thought that was pretty cool.  That’s it.

I have been a huge Amy Poehler fan for years, long before she got really famous, when she was on Upright Citizen’s Brigade on Comedy Central, in the late 90’s.  One evening a little group from Universal was walking into Ruth’s Chris in Burbank, and Amy Poehler was on the sidewalk talking into her cell phone.  I don’t typically bother people and wouldn’t have bothered her.  We made eye contact and she turned away and into her call.  Then we walked into Ruth’s and Tina Fey was inside waiting for Amy.  (I call her Amy now).  I thought that was pretty cool.  That’s it.

We had a big meeting with Walmart execs at the Universal offices.  Now look, you can't give Walmart employees anything, with their strict "no gratuities" policy.  So we decided, as an experience, to hold the meeting on the Tonight Show set.  It was pretty cool.  We hoped Leno might show up for a quick meet and greet.  He didn't, but one of his producers did.  That's it.

I've done business on and toured about every major studio lot and they are all pretty cool.  My favorite is Fox, because it's a working lot like the others, but it's closed, they don't do tours like most of the others.  So a buddy of mine at Fox gave me a tour of the lot, and while we were walking around I saw Jason Segal taking a smoke break, sitting on a curb,  Maybe that's why the lot is closed, so hard-hitting exposes like this one don't get out.  That's it.

One spring break around 2008 or so Susan and I and our youngest son Sam went to Las Vegas for spring break.  We went on a tour of Hoover Dam.  Riding down the elevator to the dank bowels of Hoover Dam I saw a woman who looked familiar; she was with a much younger woman and a couple of kids.  When we got to the bottom and I got a better look I said to Susan “Dam that looks more like Dianne Keaton than anyone I’ve ever seen”.  Susan said it sure does then said she thought it was Dianne Keaton.  We all rode up the elevator together and when we got to the top and got out Susan sidled up next to her and earnestly asked “Are you Dianne Keaton?”  Dianne Keaton just as earnestly said “Yes I am!”  She seemed very nice.  That’s it.

I was at a pub in Universal City after a meeting couple of years ago, 2014 I think.  Waiting for traffic to die down, I started chatting up a couple of people at the bar.  One woman I was speaking with turned away and called to a guy “Gordon, come meet Stu from Arkansas”.  This red-headed guy ambles over and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  He ambled off and I said to the woman “That guy looks really familiar” and she said ya “he’s an actor too, he was on a cop show”.  It was Emmy Award winner Gordon Clapp from NYPD Blue, in the 90’s.  He was nice enough.  That’s it.

That same trip I was at the National rental car counter and I saw this guy that I knew was a pretty busy character actor for the movies.  But I couldn’t place him, either his name or a movie he was in.  I wracked my brain and strained Google and IMDB every way I could think of but couldn’t place him.  I got home after a few days and sat down in front of the TV and landed on the movie Ray, with Jamie Foxx.  That TV hadn’t been on for 60 seconds and the guy from the National counter showed up in a scene from Ray.  I looked him up on IMDB.  His name is Gary Grubbs.  A good actor, he is often cast as a redneck football coach or a dirty cop or racist of some type, though I am sure his is very nice.  That’s it.

In the early 2000's, I worked for a housewares company that had a lot of iconic home brands, one being Pyrex.  We were doing an event at housewares expo in Chicago and had just contracted with celebrity chef Giada DiLaurentis to pitch our new Pyrex stuff.  She was very professional, and engaging, so nice. And pretty.  And as I recall, she smelled like cotton candy and had butterflies fluttering around her.  More likely than not, she doesn't remember me.  That's it.

We have celebs in Bentonville all the time, making some type of appearance at Walmart.  I saw Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk, in the 21c Hotel lobby a few months ago.  He looked pretty good.  Probably still working out.  I heard Schwarzenegger was in recently too.  I didn’t see him.  I wonder of he and the Hulk ran into each other.  That’s it.

I’ve had a bunch of encounters with athletes, and will probably do a “That’s It 2: Sports Edition” at some point.  Except for this one.  Because he was such a nice guy.  Heisman Trophy winner and long-time NFL receiver Raghib (Rocket) Ismail came to Bentonville for an appearance for me when I was selling Met-Rx, a sports nutrition brand.  Picking Rocket up at the airport about 10 pm, I let my 12 year-old son Andrew come along.  Andrew was a standout schoolboy athlete and loved sports and was thrilled.  When Rocket, who played for the Cowboys at the time, got in the car, Andrew asked Rocket if he knew Emmitt Smith.  Rocket good-naturedly ribbed Andrew “Why are you asking about Emmitt Smith, you’re hanging with Rocket”.  That kind of thing.  Rocket did a couple of Walmart store appearances, and these Arkansans lined up around the store to meet him.  I mean, they came out of the woods from miles around.  He was very kind and generous to each and every person.  That’s it.

In early 2015 Susan and I were in New Orleans just goofing around for a few days.  We went to dinner at some fancy Italian place.  There was a big party next to our two-top, maybe 14-16 people, and this woman caught my eye.  I thought, in rapid succession “wow she looks familiar” then “wow she really looks like Mary Matalin” then “Hey that IS Mary Matalin” then “Wait a minute of Mary Matalin is here James Carville probably is too.”  Sure enough he was.  I already said I don’t bother people but when he walked by I stood up and introduced myself and told him I was from Arkansas.  You know, Clinton and all.  He did not seem especially impressed, but was perfectly polite.  He also had the softest hands of any man I know.  That’s it.

I was walking down the concourse in Ft. Lauderdale once in the late 90’s and Tommy Smothers was walking along next to me.  He was in town for a yo-yo exhibition of some sort.  That’s it.

Speaking of concourses, and Tommys, I was walking along in LAX and Tommy Chong was walking along next to me with a guitar strapped over his back.  That’s it.

In the late 90’s, I was working on a new product launch for my company and Alex Trebek was our pitchman.  He came to Bentonville for an appearance at the Walmart shareholders meeting.  That year, I suppose to make a point to suppliers about EDLC (everyday low cost), Walmart put a moratorium on celebrity appearances, and Trebek was truly the only one they permitted.  I picked him up at the airport and drove him around for a couple of days.  Took him to dinner at the club with some of my team and a couple of Walmart execs  (yes, the Walmart guys paid for their own supper).  Trebek drank a little too much and told a couple of inappropriate stories.  He didn’t seem particularly friendly or appreciative of my attention to his logistics, but when it was show time at the Bud Walton Arena, he was nothing but pure honey, and the crowd of 20,000 Walmart associates and stakeholders went crazy for him.  Of course, he’s a pro.  Then I took him back to the airport.  That’s it.

So, Trump.  In 2002, at Universal, we launched the DVD of the first full season of The Apprentice.  It was going to be a BIG deal, and we must have shipped pallets, over a million copies, to sell at Walmart.  It was a unique DVD case, when you opened a top flap, a little electronic thing said “You’re Fired.”  Very obnoxious.  Walmart sold an absurdly, record-breakingly low amount in the first week, like 1,500 copies out of the million plus that we shipped.  Those DVD sets are probably in landfill or some warehouse somewhere today.  That’s it.