Eulogy for a Good Dude

 

On behalf of Louis’ family, welcome and thanks to everyone here for gathering to remember and celebrate his life:  husband, dad, son, cousin, friend and brother. I’ve gotta think we are all shell-shocked, even on this day, by this sad and sudden loss of a previously healthy and robust man.  Jen, Max, Hallie and Gerald, Sally and Doug, and others in Louis’s grieving family, we are gathered here for you, to share your burden, your grief, but also to celebrate the life of a unique and good man.  A good dude as we would say. 

We’re going to cover a lot of ground in a relatively short amount of time today, but one immediate reminder for me is of the tentative and fragile nature of life on earth.  The only guarantee we have is this day, even this very moment, so our loss is a stark reminder to value each moment and the loved ones we share those moments with. 

I met Louis when we were little more than kids, working together at UPS.  Oh ya…UPS.  I was honored to stand up for Louis at his wedding to Jennifer, and it tickles me to recall the story about how not only did the bride and groom work at UPS, not only did the groomsmen all work at UPS, but the PASTOR, another good dude named Jim Spurlock, as I recall, also worked at UPS!  Louis and I used to joke that we should have worn brown tuxes.  Would not have been a winning color for the bridal party, however. 

At any rate, at some point early in our friendship, Louis saw something in me, and offered to share an apartment in the ‘boro while we were both enrolled at MTSU.  Yep, Louie saw something in me, a few years his junior, and so he encouraged me…to stretch, to do my best, to use good judgement, and importantly, to do the right thing.  Though we were peers, friends, and a little later, brothers for life through Kappa Sigma, I can’t overstate how his encouraging influence helped to launch me into manhood.  

No poser, Louis was the real deal.  Oh my Lord, how he could see through the poser.  He was an ambitious and spirited man, full of energy and enthusiasm for life.  I gave him plenty of reasons to laugh with, and even at me over the years.  I love how he could laugh at himself, how he could hear or tell the same story over and over, and laugh like it was the first time it was told. 

We had a great time at the Kappa-Iota 50^th anniversary celebration a couple of years ago.  Doesn’t seem like that long ago.  Susan and I met Louis and Jennifer at the Embassy Suites, and as a simple thank you for support he has shown to me and my family, I gave Louis a Kappa Sigma lapel pin, a cheap little thing, $15 bucks off of Amazon.  Louis was so appreciative, so grateful, he said to me “Stu, when I think of someone I’d like to be more like, I think of you.”  Stunning, right?  The highest possible praise.  Well, first of all, be very, very careful what you wish for.  Right, everyone in the room who really knows me? 

But my real take-away was, beyond being expressly humbled by this unmerited favor, here’s Louis again, nearly 40 years into our friendship, still being the encourager, still lifting ME up as a friend and brother. 

I can summarize my experience with Louis’ character by recalling our Kappa Sigma credo, the Star and Crescent:

 

"The Star and Crescent shall not be worn by every man, but only by him who is worthy to wear it.  He must be a gentleman, a man of honor and courage, a man of zeal, yet humble, an intelligent man, a man of truth, one who tempers action with wisdom and, above all else, one who walks in the light of God."

 

Speaking of God.  Let’s talk about our Creator for a minute.  That would probably be appropriate at this place and time.  It would be disingenuous to suggest Louis was an expressly religious man.  I do know him to have been a respectful man, respectful of my and others points-of-view, and respectful of God.  I also believe him to have a spiritual side, hope in what is beyond this life.  I truly believe Louie was a “hoper”…I’d also bet that there are a bunch of hopers in this room.

 

Jesus spoke to the hopers: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you; I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

 

I know a little about God and a little bible…enough to be dangerous.  But the God, the Jesus, the Holy Spirit I have come to know…oh my, how our Creator loves the hopers.  One passage I know as fact had special meaning to Louis, in a story found in the Gospel called Mark, when Bartimaeus pleaded with hope “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me”, and had his sight restored.  Again and again, our Creator shows compassion to the hopers.

 

And so, permit me to lead you through a time of personal reflection. 

• Take a moment and think about your relationship with Louis.
• What are you grateful for?
• How did he impact your life?
• Lastly, if you’d like…share with God where you need His help today. Our Creator can handle your anger, frustration, confusion, and sorrow.

The Bible can seem fuzzy, to me at least, about some things.  But on this topic, the Word is clear: that there is life beyond this life. Death is not the end. The life we live here is a vapor; a puff of smoke in comparison to eternity, and any number years is short in comparison to what’s next. Scripture is also clear that God loves the hopers.

 

With the benefit of hindsight, what would Louis tell us right now?

• Cherish your family and friends.
• Enjoy life to the fullest.
• Welcome people into your lives.
• Take your responsibilities, to family, job, friends, country seriously.  Don’t take yourself too seriously.
• Leave any should have’s, could have’s, and would have’s here. Don’t take them with you when you leave.

Over the past several months, since Louis left us, I have had a few episodes where I’d be driving down the road or doing some other mundane task, and think of something and think “Hey I need to call Louis and tell him about…” before it hits me that he won’t be there to take the call. 

But I am a “hoper”.   And my hope is in the promise that Louis is with God, and we’ll meet him again someday in that place some of us call the Chapter Celestial, with our Creator who does so love the hopers, and ultimately, whose name is LOVE.

 

 

Unresolved

Got in my truck to leave for the office a few days back, and as I was pulling out of my parking spot, I couldn’t help but notice a big glop of bird ummm…bird poop… smack in my line-of-sight on the windshield.  No problem I thought, as I reached for the windshield washer knob.  Nothing came out.  The reservoir was empty.

I could of course still see safely, so I drove on to the office.  There, faced with the usual assortment of work matters, I promptly forgot about the problem.

Leaving the office a few hours later, there I was again, looking at my world around a big glop of bird poop.  Of course, the windshield washer reservoir remained empty.

As I rolled out, seeing the way clearly enough but not really enjoying the ride, I had an insight.

That glob of bird poop is like unresolved issues in life.  It’s not going to stop me from moving through life, but it sure does degrade the experience. I can still see around it, even a little bit through it, but it makes for, let’s say, a crappy experience.

It also became clear, pending a rainstorm in this case, that bird poop was not going to clean itself.  Nor was the windshield washer reservoir going to fill itself.  I needed to be intentional.

At the next light I took my bottle of Sam’s Choice drinking water and reached out the window to wet the windshield enough so that the wipers could do their job.  I took deliberate, proactive action.

What’s the bird poop on my windshield of life?  What unresolved issues have yet to be confronted in the spirit of truth and reality?  For what issue have I not sought thorough, transparent reconciliation?  Have I wronged someone and not made it right to the best of my ability?

If that specific bird poop doesn’t come back (of course it won’t, it can’t), it’s likely I’ll get pooped on again, sooner than later.  Keeping that windshield clean is not a one-time proposition.

So, three days later, what have I not done?  I’ve not gone to the Walmart for a jug of windshield washer fluid.  

Today.  For sure.  Today.  I keep telling myself.

We'll See

Not that anyone cares, should care, but on this Veteran’s Day, I break my silence on this cluster(insert expletive of your choosing) of a presidential election.

A few months back, a long-time and respected friend mockingly announced to another lunch partner, “Stu is a Dem-o-crat.”

Well, a couple of things.  I have been, where possible, a registered independent, and have voted for Republican, Democratic, Independent, and even Libertarian candidates as I saw fit.  Good ideas have come from and/or been blocked by the left and the right.  So despite the intended insult, it is simply not so.

That said, I reject the statement as the insult that was intended.  The battlefields of this planet run deep and red with the blood of Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and the disinterested in politics.  Selfless and self-serving, righteous and amoral, lazy and industrious, courageous and cowardly politicians come from all sides of the political spectrum as well.  

So cast labels as you will, one man’s insult is another’s badge of honor.  Even if my friends intended slur was true, I would not take it as a slur.

“Pick a side!” one might say.  I have picked a side.  The side of demonstrable facts, of common decency as I see it, of the freedom of personal choice, of compassion, and most of all of the side of “I know that I don’t know every (insert expletive of your choice) thing”.

So, if you today are on the spectrum between smug and giddy to despondent and angry, keep in mind that ultimately we are all on the same side.  Keep in mind that “your side” doesn’t have all the (insert expletive of your choice) answers and doesn’t know every (insert expletive of your choice) thing.  If you ask me (and you didn't), maturity and common sense so require.

As the Zen Master said, “We’ll see.”

That's It.

One of the “benefits” of working on the fringe of the entertainment business, this is a collection of just a few of my meaningless celebrity sightings and encounters.  They are in no particular order of importance, because they are all unimportant.  And a Donald Trump story.

In the spring of 2015 Gary Busy was pacing around my gate at LAX, followed by a walrus looking dude whom I assumed was his security.  That’s it.

Around 1989 my wife, Susan, and I had backstage meet and greet passes at a Tom Jones concert.  The show was pretty good.  Backstage, we waited in line to get a photo with Tom Jones.  He shoved me gently, deliberately, and ceremoniously out of the way so that it would just be him and Susan in the picture.  That’s it.

In 1990, Susan and I and another couple were on a flight to south Florida, Lauderdale I think. Hanging out at our gate, I looked over and saw that then Tennessee Senator Al Gore was on our flight.  If memory serves, he had just dropped his presidential bid.  I went up and rapped with him for a minute, told him that I was a Tennessean and that when I was undergrad at MTSU the dorm I lived in for a year was named after his dad (also a US Senator of note).  He was polite enough.  That's it.

On a flight once from DC to Charlotte, the entire South Carolina congressional delegation got on our flight.  Not yet knowing I was sitting next to a congressman. when Strom Thurmond got on I said to my seatmate, that cat looks like Art Linkletter (who had probably been dead for sometime, who knows).  He had to tell me who it was Strom Thurmond. That's it.

I went to work at Universal Studios in 2003.  My first week there I was at some fancy restaurant around Universal City for dinner and George Wendt was sitting alone at the table next to my little dinner party.  Then he was joined by John Cleese.  I thought that was so cool.  That’s it.

I was so naïve when I worked at Universal.  Only there about a year, I was in two or three meetings where it was just me and five or six others, and Jeffery Katzenberg was in the meeting.  I really didn’t know who he was or that he was a big deal.  Maybe that's one reason I was only there about a year. That’s it.

One evening we had a picnic on the Universal lot on the front yard of the house that was depicted as where the Cleaver’s lived.  You know, Leave it to Beaver.  I thought that was pretty cool.  That’s it.

I have been a huge Amy Poehler fan for years, long before she got really famous, when she was on Upright Citizen’s Brigade on Comedy Central, in the late 90’s.  One evening a little group from Universal was walking into Ruth’s Chris in Burbank, and Amy Poehler was on the sidewalk talking into her cell phone.  I don’t typically bother people and wouldn’t have bothered her.  We made eye contact and she turned away and into her call.  Then we walked into Ruth’s and Tina Fey was inside waiting for Amy.  (I call her Amy now).  I thought that was pretty cool.  That’s it.

We had a big meeting with Walmart execs at the Universal offices.  Now look, you can't give Walmart employees anything, with their strict "no gratuities" policy.  So we decided, as an experience, to hold the meeting on the Tonight Show set.  It was pretty cool.  We hoped Leno might show up for a quick meet and greet.  He didn't, but one of his producers did.  That's it.

I've done business on and toured about every major studio lot and they are all pretty cool.  My favorite is Fox, because it's a working lot like the others, but it's closed, they don't do tours like most of the others.  So a buddy of mine at Fox gave me a tour of the lot, and while we were walking around I saw Jason Segal taking a smoke break, sitting on a curb,  Maybe that's why the lot is closed, so hard-hitting exposes like this one don't get out.  That's it.

One spring break around 2008 or so Susan and I and our youngest son Sam went to Las Vegas for spring break.  We went on a tour of Hoover Dam.  Riding down the elevator to the dank bowels of Hoover Dam I saw a woman who looked familiar; she was with a much younger woman and a couple of kids.  When we got to the bottom and I got a better look I said to Susan “Dam that looks more like Dianne Keaton than anyone I’ve ever seen”.  Susan said it sure does then said she thought it was Dianne Keaton.  We all rode up the elevator together and when we got to the top and got out Susan sidled up next to her and earnestly asked “Are you Dianne Keaton?”  Dianne Keaton just as earnestly said “Yes I am!”  She seemed very nice.  That’s it.

I was at a pub in Universal City after a meeting couple of years ago, 2014 I think.  Waiting for traffic to die down, I started chatting up a couple of people at the bar.  One woman I was speaking with turned away and called to a guy “Gordon, come meet Stu from Arkansas”.  This red-headed guy ambles over and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  He ambled off and I said to the woman “That guy looks really familiar” and she said ya “he’s an actor too, he was on a cop show”.  It was Emmy Award winner Gordon Clapp from NYPD Blue, in the 90’s.  He was nice enough.  That’s it.

That same trip I was at the National rental car counter and I saw this guy that I knew was a pretty busy character actor for the movies.  But I couldn’t place him, either his name or a movie he was in.  I wracked my brain and strained Google and IMDB every way I could think of but couldn’t place him.  I got home after a few days and sat down in front of the TV and landed on the movie Ray, with Jamie Foxx.  That TV hadn’t been on for 60 seconds and the guy from the National counter showed up in a scene from Ray.  I looked him up on IMDB.  His name is Gary Grubbs.  A good actor, he is often cast as a redneck football coach or a dirty cop or racist of some type, though I am sure his is very nice.  That’s it.

In the early 2000's, I worked for a housewares company that had a lot of iconic home brands, one being Pyrex.  We were doing an event at housewares expo in Chicago and had just contracted with celebrity chef Giada DiLaurentis to pitch our new Pyrex stuff.  She was very professional, and engaging, so nice. And pretty.  And as I recall, she smelled like cotton candy and had butterflies fluttering around her.  More likely than not, she doesn't remember me.  That's it.

We have celebs in Bentonville all the time, making some type of appearance at Walmart.  I saw Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk, in the 21c Hotel lobby a few months ago.  He looked pretty good.  Probably still working out.  I heard Schwarzenegger was in recently too.  I didn’t see him.  I wonder of he and the Hulk ran into each other.  That’s it.

I’ve had a bunch of encounters with athletes, and will probably do a “That’s It 2: Sports Edition” at some point.  Except for this one.  Because he was such a nice guy.  Heisman Trophy winner and long-time NFL receiver Raghib (Rocket) Ismail came to Bentonville for an appearance for me when I was selling Met-Rx, a sports nutrition brand.  Picking Rocket up at the airport about 10 pm, I let my 12 year-old son Andrew come along.  Andrew was a standout schoolboy athlete and loved sports and was thrilled.  When Rocket, who played for the Cowboys at the time, got in the car, Andrew asked Rocket if he knew Emmitt Smith.  Rocket good-naturedly ribbed Andrew “Why are you asking about Emmitt Smith, you’re hanging with Rocket”.  That kind of thing.  Rocket did a couple of Walmart store appearances, and these Arkansans lined up around the store to meet him.  I mean, they came out of the woods from miles around.  He was very kind and generous to each and every person.  That’s it.

In early 2015 Susan and I were in New Orleans just goofing around for a few days.  We went to dinner at some fancy Italian place.  There was a big party next to our two-top, maybe 14-16 people, and this woman caught my eye.  I thought, in rapid succession “wow she looks familiar” then “wow she really looks like Mary Matalin” then “Hey that IS Mary Matalin” then “Wait a minute of Mary Matalin is here James Carville probably is too.”  Sure enough he was.  I already said I don’t bother people but when he walked by I stood up and introduced myself and told him I was from Arkansas.  You know, Clinton and all.  He did not seem especially impressed, but was perfectly polite.  He also had the softest hands of any man I know.  That’s it.

I was walking down the concourse in Ft. Lauderdale once in the late 90’s and Tommy Smothers was walking along next to me.  He was in town for a yo-yo exhibition of some sort.  That’s it.

Speaking of concourses, and Tommys, I was walking along in LAX and Tommy Chong was walking along next to me with a guitar strapped over his back.  That’s it.

In the late 90’s, I was working on a new product launch for my company and Alex Trebek was our pitchman.  He came to Bentonville for an appearance at the Walmart shareholders meeting.  That year, I suppose to make a point to suppliers about EDLC (everyday low cost), Walmart put a moratorium on celebrity appearances, and Trebek was truly the only one they permitted.  I picked him up at the airport and drove him around for a couple of days.  Took him to dinner at the club with some of my team and a couple of Walmart execs  (yes, the Walmart guys paid for their own supper).  Trebek drank a little too much and told a couple of inappropriate stories.  He didn’t seem particularly friendly or appreciative of my attention to his logistics, but when it was show time at the Bud Walton Arena, he was nothing but pure honey, and the crowd of 20,000 Walmart associates and stakeholders went crazy for him.  Of course, he’s a pro.  Then I took him back to the airport.  That’s it.

So, Trump.  In 2002, at Universal, we launched the DVD of the first full season of The Apprentice.  It was going to be a BIG deal, and we must have shipped pallets, over a million copies, to sell at Walmart.  It was a unique DVD case, when you opened a top flap, a little electronic thing said “You’re Fired.”  Very obnoxious.  Walmart sold an absurdly, record-breakingly low amount in the first week, like 1,500 copies out of the million plus that we shipped.  Those DVD sets are probably in landfill or some warehouse somewhere today.  That’s it.

Values. And a banana.

I had the opportunity to speak to the marketing classes at Bentonville High School this week. While the focus of the talk was the structure and function of my business (ie: what I do), one question led to a response regarding my company's (and my personal) core values. Very simply, they are:

1. Operate with ethics and integrity
2. Have fun
3. Having fun means doing my very best for clients and partners to help them to win.

Pretty straightforward.

One of the students asked me, what do I do if I had to work with someone who was difficult, someone I really didn’t want to work with (making if of course, difficult or impossible to have fun). Great question and I had to think fast.

But first, the banana.

In 1996 I was being recruited from my job to a bigger role in a smaller company. The interview process sailed along, and finally I was flown to south Florida for a final round of interviews.

Met at the Embassy Suites “free” breakfast buffet by Kelly, an executive from the new company, the discussion went well. Kelly and I really connected. I threw down a big breakfast (was not as health conscious in 1996 at age 35 as I am now). Kelly, my soon to be colleague, had a banana.

At the conclusion of the interview, we were leaving and Kelly stopped at the hostess stand to say that he was not a guest and needed to pay for breakfast. Twelve bucks. For a banana.

So Kelly paid for his twelve dollar banana and we left.

How easy it would have been to rationalize skipping out on the twelve dollar banana: It’s a thirty-five cent banana. Our company spends thousands putting travelers on their property every year. It’s a banana!

Clearly, this one stuck with me.

So, back to the student’s question, and here was my answer.

First, in any conflict, I never discount the possibility that I may be the problem. Something I said, did or didn’t do. I know myself well enough to know that it is possible, maybe even likely, that I could be the problem.

So, satisfied in a situation that I’m NOT the problem, then maturity dictates that there are times one has to take the good with the bad. The bad would have to really outweigh the good for me to walk, to not agree to work with that person (or company) again.

If the bad is a clear cut integrity or ethics issue, then we’re done.

Social Media Blogger Campaigns: Proof Positive

There is a healthy skepticism among brand and shopper marketers on the effectiveness of social media campaigns.  Marketers ask, rightly, is budget spent on blogger campaigns well placed?  Will the campaigns generate meaningful results?  Are the “impressions” which are self-reported by the social media companies real?

Having been deeply engaged in the blogger campaign world for several years now, I have seen consistently good, even great content generated by bloggers.  The creativity of the content, fresh ideas, stunning photography, and engaging stories set this format apart from any other advertising; indeed, these campaigns stimulate conversation and engagement around fresh and actionable ideas.

But is it worth the spend?  Do these campaigns move the needle on sales?

At last, proof positive.  A client recently ran an account specific campaign, in a very challenging category, which generated the “hat trick” of results, results which are demonstrably immediate, significant and sustainable.

First, a little about the campaign.  The campaign was around a new mass market cigarillo brand launched at Walmart.  There was absolutely nothing else going on from a marketing perspective with the brand, either at the account or nationally.  The content generated by the bloggers was mind-blowingly positive, creative, and engaging.  There was nothing in the blogs that even hinted at bringing new users into an admittedly controversial category, but focused on creative ideas targeted to current smokers.  As for results, the campaign generated 16 million impressions, and at a cost of less than $30,000!

But that’s not the big news. The big news is the around the irrefutable sales results at the retailer, results which were immediate, significant and sustained.

The sales impact was immediate, as the brand began to see sales lifts the very week the campaign broke, with around 30 bloggers generating stories.  These results we also significant, as an immediate 15% sales increase was clearly significant to the brand.  Finally, the results are sustaining.  As of this writing, five months post-campaign, the content is still generating views, and brand sales are on a continuing upward trend.

For my business at least, the issue of “do social media blogging campaigns work?” is settled.  What I have suspected all along: that fresh content that drive conversations with the consumer generate results that are more impactful than simply “telling” the consumer through traditional advertising, is proven true.  And by choosing carefully which service provider is deployed, the medium can be exceedingly cost effective.

Role Model

Last week we said farewell to my father-in-law, Bob O’Brien.  Bob was, without question, one of the most generous, genuine, and humble individuals I ever met.  Damned Lucky Strikes.

There is a certain kind of person, personality type, that, if you have a problem with that person you can be nearly assured that YOU are the problem.  (I am not one of those people.  If you have a problem with me, there is a pretty good chance I did something).  Bob was one of those people.  If you had a problem with Bob O’Brien, I can tell you with almost 100% certainty:  You are the problem.

When preparing to stand up for Bob at his graveside to say a few words last week, I started looking around the Bible for some applicable passages that came to mind.  It was tough.  Whatever else one might think about the Holy Bible, it undeniably has a great deal of practical wisdom.  Everywhere I looked, I thought, “there’s Bob” and “there’s Bob”.  Like many, even most folks, I know just enough Bible to be dangerous, and I landed on these passages.

Galatians 5 outlines the fruit of the spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”  Who can argue against these traits? Bob exhibited all (not some) of these traits, and (in my experience) about all the time. 

So then Philippians 2:3-4 came to mind.  Aspirational for me, it is one of the few Bible verses I can quote by heart: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”.  I have never met a more selfless and deferential person than Bob O’Brien, as he always put the needs and desires of others before himself.

Finally, Bob did the right things for the right reasons.  In Matthew 6, Jesus said “Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding”.  Bob didn’t live the fruits of the spirit, didn’t put others first, for show.  Nobody could keep that up for the 32 years I knew him.  He did the right things for the right reasons.  Not for the applause of men, but because it was his character.

It would be a boring world if everyone was the same, for sure.  But would the world be a better place if everyone were a little more like me?  Ya, maybe a little. I'd like to hope.  Would the world be a better place if everyone were more like Bob O’Brien?

Yes.  A helluvalot better.